| goodbye |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|02:05 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  content | ] |
ok...well, I have just noticed that I havn't updated this is a loooong loooong time...and a lot of other people havn't either.
So...my conclusion...I'm not going to update anymore. This will be my last post. I just really have nothing to write here anymore and no time to write what I could say. If anyone is interested, I do still have and use MySpace. The link is above by my icon.
Buh~Bye! |
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| Wooo.... |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|07:27 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  Drunk on Meds | ] |
DayQuil is awsome. I think I'm getting sick...so I take me some and now I feel kinda....messed up. Woo.
I CAN'T be sick! Kioko's BDay party is tomorrow!! Ok...no problem. If I'm really sick in the morning...aftr I drag myself outta bed, I'll just down more DayQuill and all will be good.
Right now I'm bleaching muh hair as light as possable, so I can dye it purple...but a light purple. I wanted to dye it blue again, but I couldn't find anymore and it's too late to go to the store to get some....so purple will do.
Yea, I went through this breif stage of wanting to be all natural and pretty, but then I looked at all the SuicidGrls again, and decided that natural isn't me and never was and it is boring...so...after a breif 3 months of KINDA normal colored hair...I'm going all crazy again!
I wanna be a Suicide Girl so bad. *sobsob* They are all so sexy and cute! (if you haven't seen them...go now)
Hmmm....well, when my hair is all done and purple, I'll post piccies for all of you! So....keep a look out. (that is unless my hair all falls out. O_O)
And everyone should check out MY MySpace...the linky is Above by my user info and all that stuff. So go there and be my friend or I'll make these faces at you!
T_____T |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|07:04 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  creative | ] |
ummm...is oil paint...ummm toxic? 'cause I'mma painting something really cool for muh bestest friend Kioko for her birfday with oil paint and I started 3 days ago. Well, lots of it is gettin on my skin and I think it's seeping into my blood because now I have a bad paint taste in my mouth and my head hurts...plus I have a headache.
She better like it because I think it's killing me.
grumblegrumble
Well, I'm PRETTY much done with it now...just gotta put some final touches on it and let it dry. I hope it's dry by Friday 'cause that's when she gets it!
I'm super excided!!!
EEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Hmm.....yuck... |
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| wow |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|10:01 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | silence | ] |
Wow...so much has happened since last time I updated...
Well, ysterday was my husbands 24th birthday...so...it was SUPPOSeD to be a good day.
We fought all day about stupid stuff, then we went to go watch a movie and he left halfway threw to go to the bathroom.
10 minutes later we still wasn't back and I was worried. Then a manager and another guy when works there came and got me and told me that he had passed out in the bathroom and hit his head really hard. O_O
WTF?
He told me he was compleatly fine then all he remembers is some guy standing over him asking him if he has had a seizure before.
SOOOOOO.....we went home and he didnt want to go to the emergency room (because guys never do) but then some friends (who were watching the movie with us) came over and helped me MAKE him go.
So.....4 hours later the docters say he is okay and after drugging him up let us go only pretty much saying 'we have no idea, were stupid'.
Afterwards I had my FIRST meal of the day...it was 10:00PM then.T__T
So...today we are supposed to celebrate his birthday...since we couldn't yesterday.
I think it's stress..really. He is sooooooooooooo stressed out and never eats and is always depressed. I would have to admit it is partly my fault for the stress.
I don't know what I would do if he passed out in front of me...or had a seizure. I think I would just freeze. I just don't know what to do!
I helped a dog once that was having his first seizure (my dog), and he got up and bit me and cornered me and then chased me inside. There was blood everywhere(mine). I thought I was going to have to kill him.
hmmm...well....yea....thats all for now. How is everyone else? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|07:29 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  heheheheh | ] |
Wooo...guess what? I'm not getting internet turned off afterall!! YAY!! That's great!
Hmmm...yea, that is pretty much all I have to say today.
And I'm really sorry I don't comment much on everyone's posts...but I'm always afraid I don't have too much of intrest to say most of the time.
err...if you want I can just say a bunch of stuff that doesnt make sence!
Yes....I can do that.
I'm sleepy.
Imma gonna go eat grapes and play Monopoly now....and I'm gonna buy Bordwalk and Parkplace and put 5 hotels on each and make everyone pay me 5,000 dollars each time they land on it...hehhhheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh.
yes. |
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| Yawn |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|01:19 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Mazzy Star~Umbilical | ] |
K....I really don't have a lot to say today..or right now, but I guess I need to update this or something.
I think I'm going to...once again....change my layout. I like Miyavi, but I think I just want something....I dunno...not band related.
I dunno....yesterday I listened to this band called Mazzy star. I really like it...a lot.
It's very...hmmm....haunting? Relaxing? Can't describe it...but it fits me very well and as soon as I heard the first song....somthing inside of me just clicked.
I have been struggling for years to be balanced and just happy with myself. Now....I dunno, I feel balanced and at peace with myself and who I am. I'm not obsessd with..well anything anymore.
I dunno, I can't really explane any of this, but if you knew me, you would be very happy for me because you would know how long I have struggled with everything.
I'm just letting everything go....letting things just happen, not fighting anymore.
This is very good.
I'm not 100% better...no...but I'm getting better each day. There are still things that are needing to be delt with inside of myself.
So...yea.
I guess I did have stuff to talk about, and there is yet more to say, but I'm sure no one really really care to hear my problems, so....I'll just leave it at that for now!
Hope everyone else is doing good! |
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| another year gone... |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|11:36 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  must have sleep..... | ] |
Hello! How was everyone's New Year?
I got realllllly drunk. It was interesting. I even told myself I wasn't going to drink anymore..and well, it was pretty much forced on me. As soon as I walked into the door, they were handing me double shots of all kinds of stuff....then we ALL had to do Flaming Dr Peppers. I thought I was going to die.
Then I got to sleep on a couch...without a blanket...I was soooo cold.
I THINK I have slept only 3 hours...and I'm not planning on sleeping till tonight because I have to go do somethings then hang out with Austin and his wife.
My head is all swimmy.
Wooooiamsotired* |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|10:05 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | awake | ] |
Yay! I'm still here! Weird....I wonder if they forgot? (Or maybe it will be off today except today is New Years Eve...so that would just be...EVIL of them.)
Oh well....Hm....
I woke up this morning with a headache, but I'm gonna eat a huge chocolate chip mint ice cream cookie for breakfast....yes breakfast.
So...I hope that will help.
I wanted to eat it last night, but I didn't get it till like 3AM...by then I was tooo tired and it felt wrong eating soooo late, er early. |
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| Aaahaaa |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|10:27 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  woooo | ] |
Yea...I changed my layout. Not as dark, since I'm trying to stay away from too much darkness in my life. Plus, I do love Miyavi lots!
Yea..other than that, I don't have much to say.
I'm still here....on line. The internet was supposed to be cut off today..and it isn't. Maybe tomorrow?
Hope not.
Well, if it is...then I will see or talk to everyone soon! I wont be gone long!
Hope everyone has a great New Years! |
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| hmmm... |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|01:43 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  yay...drowning! | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | TV | ] |
Stolen from a..friend?
January
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?
-Not yet..but maybe. Hav'nt thought about it.
2. Who kissed you at midnight?
-Not new years yet...
3. Does it snow where you live?
-sometimes. We are having a record drought in 50 years. Fire everywhere.
4. Do you like hot chocolate?
-LOVE
5. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop?
-no
February
1. Who was your valentine in 2005?
- Jason?
2. What did your valentine get you?
-Umm...Don't remember
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?
-heh...once. But I was so shy I kept those plus the ones given to me..hehe. I still have them.
4. Who have you done a project on for Black History Month?
-No
5. Do you care if the ground hog see's its shadow or not?
-No
March
1. Are you Irish?
-part
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
-I try to..people pince me a lot
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005?
-Nothing?
4. Are you Happy when winter is pretty much over?
-I HATE winter
April
1. Do you like the rain?
-YES...
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
-ya
3. Do you get tons of candy on easter?
-none
4. Do you celebrate 4-20?
-I used to try to when I did. But I was usually high all day anyways so it didnt matter.
May
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
-lilys, daisys, chrry blossoms
2. Do you like the spring?
-yea
3. Finish the phrase: April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
-color?
4. What is the first spring color that comes to mind?
-green
June
1. What year did you graduate from school?
- I dropped out
2. Did you go on any vacations last June?
- umm..Galveston Island
3. Did you realize nothing special happens in June?
-unless you make it happen
July
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
- i caught stuff on fire
2. Do you go on any vacations during this month?
- i was still in Galveston.
3. Do you Blast the A/C all day?
- if its super hot
August
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer?
- got lost walking in downtown Dallas with Kioko...scary homeless man chased us.
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05?
- Galveston
3. Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?
- if possable
4. Do you go to the beach a lot?
-when i can
September
1. Did you attend school/college in '05?
- no..not since 2000
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?
- no on
3. Do you like fall better than summer?
- Yes
October
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever?
- dont have one
2. What's your favorite candy?
- chocolate
3. what did you dress up like this year?
- the bunny of death
November
1. Whose house did you go to for thanksgiving?
- My birth mothers
2. Do you love stuffing?
- no..hate
3. What are you thankful for?
- dunno
December
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
- kinda
2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
- ya
3. What do you want this year for Christmas?
- dunno
4. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?
- hmmm...dunno...money?
5. Do you like cold weather?
-HATE IT
K...now I'm going to go drown myself for a while! |
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| could be my last entry for a few days..... |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|09:43 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | windchimes | ] |
And I chose to write crap..'cause I'm cold and sleepy and hungry and bored...
Yup.
There ya go! Enjoy! |
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| This is what happens when I'm bored...heh |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|11:39 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | silence | ] |
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust. |
| Reeses Peanut Butter Cups | 
Very popular, one of you is not enough. |
| You Are Somewhat Machiavellian | 
You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to! |
| You Were a Cat | 
You are an independent person who inspires others with your dreams.
A calm protector, you will fight when you need to. |
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|
| So.... |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|08:13 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | TV | ] |
In case anyone is interested..this is my day...
Ok..well, this morning, my BRAND NEW water heater...broke. No more hot water which ment no shower for me today. This makes me very un~happy. I feel so dirty. Boooo...
Then my BDad was late to pick me up...but that's ok 'cause he brought me 100 dollars..and...something else... >_>
Dooodooodoodod..ok...well, the drive to his parents house was LOOOONG and boring. I wanted to die.
His mother (My grandmother) is losing her mind...seriously. I don't think she really remembers me anymore. I reached out to hug her and before she did she looked at me like she was scared.
Gah...then..oh gawd...THEN..she read us all a long ass letter written by jesus about the TRUE meaning of christmas and broke into tears telling us that if any of us dont have jesus as out personal savior in our hearts to please find him.. She was very upset.
THAT was the strange and most awkward thing i've ever been around. I'm Pagan...so..THIS...this was uncomfortable.
*Scared*
And she kept looking at me....during this. O____O
Well...hours pass and we all went outside to watch a bunch of people running around trying to put out a huge grass fire....with buckets of water...
Very intertaining...untill another one started...then we all got worried. We were a good 20 minutes from...ANYTHING.
Well, it eventualy got put out.
Laalala...well, I'm home now and happy to be...yea.
Here are what I got so far...
BMother~100$, a dead teddy bear
Brother~Jacket
BFather~100$, something else >_>
Jason~Lenore 'Cooties', Haunted Mansion comic
Kioko~Rag Doll perfume (god, I love this stuff)
Deann~White chocolate bath stuff(Yummm)
Parents~25$
Grandma~25$
Yea...this christmas sucked
I remember when I still lived with my parents, I would get like 10 huge presents from them...damn...I should have never moved out. T___T
La....well, now Ima gonna go eat fudge and...something... >_>
yes yes
And I might not get the internet off afterall...we will see. |
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| Well... |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|05:14 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | ok.. | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Rasputina~Herb Girls Of Birkenau | ] |
Ok...as of December 30, I will no longer have internet. I don't know for how long..but, yea, that sucks.
I can pay the bill, but I can pay it on Jan2. I called and told them..but they wont even give me 3 days. Why? Why? 3 days. Gah...people are stupid. I will pay in full..just give me a few days and you will get your stupid money.
No? Ok...then you wont get any money at all, why is it such a problem?
And it's christmas! Come on people, give me a break!
Yea...well, for the next few days...I will be pretty buisy. I'm going out of town to visit family tomorrow...then on the 25th I'm visiting family with my Birth Dad.
Ok...this will be awkward. These people love me...really love me and last time I saw them..all they did was talk about how I was when I was little and show me baby pictues. I was taken away when I was one. Havn't seen them since. It's really hard to talk to people who haven't seen you since then when all they say is..."Remember? You used to do this...and that...and here you are doing this...remember? You loved me! Remember?" Then they seem sad because I don't know what to say. Sure I might have loved them then..but then I was taken away and not allowed to talk/see/know anything about them since I was one. I DON'T REMEMBER YOU!! It's hard enough to see my Birth Father after all these years. (I just met him..again..a year ago after I havn't seen him since I was one. And he wants me to call him dad. I can't)
Ahh....There is soooo much pressure.....
My family is nothing but lies...I was never wanted and was tossed from one family member to the next till I was 6...why? Because no one wantd to take me in. I'm still pretty much un wanted. Hmm...yea.
This was intending to be a happy post..and I am happy, just frustrated.
But..anyways...I'm hungry, gonna go cook something. Yummm.............
woohoo! Hope everyone has a good Christmas..oh and New years..in case I don't talk to some of you for a while. New years eve shall be fun.......hehehehehehe.... |
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| Just waisting time... |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|09:12 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Silence...cept for a dog barking somewhere. Not mine. | ] |
Yup....I have nothing to do untill my clothes are dry. I'm going to hang out with Kioko today! ^_^
Yay! And tomorrow is our Christmas party! Yay! And...this time I'm not sick! Last year we all went to a friends house and played a game where you had to yell out the answers..I think it was called Shout it..or something...but I was soooo fucking sick that I often went into coughing fits and then lost my voice compleatly.
I lost.
T_T
But I'm not sick this year! I already had my one cold of the Winter! YAY! And I'm taking vitamins because when I'm sick, you might as well kill me...put me out of my misery.
I get REALLY sick.
Hmmm....Hmmm...well, I guess I could go eat or somtin'...yes?
I'm in a good mood today, and probably will stay that way for the whole holiday! So much to look forward to! ^_^
(especially presents) Yes yes, I'll admit, since I'm not Christian at all and don't believe in that concept of god, I just consider Christmas to be a time where people get together and give presents. sad...but true.
Ahh...hmmm...yea, well, I guess I'll go for today. I have to leave at noon and I still have to eat and get a shower first.so.yea.
Ta! |
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| WoooHooo |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|04:07 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | woohoo | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Perfect Circle | ] |
Yay...my present from my Birth Mother came!! Yay!!! YAY!!!
I was begining to worry....and it came!!!
I am happy now.
yes.. |
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| I'm tired of caring for other people... |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|01:51 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | Happy | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Skinny Puppy | ] |
Well, I'm in a pretty good mood today..I guess. UPS fucking sucks because my package was supposed to arrive in 2~3 days and it's day 4...where is it? I dunno....
I keep seeing UPS trucks everywhere and I wanna go up to one and ask if they have a package for me. I wont, but I want to.
Woo...a few minutes ago a girl whom I was REALLY good 'friends' with came by! OO
I was shocked to see her. Since she had her first child, we just kinda drifted apart. We were in diffrent times in our lives and it just happened. Well, I also didn't go to her wedding in which I was invited to not too long ago, and she is kinda mad. She made me sad because she said it hurt her.
She said she will call me in a few days and she wants me to come to her house and hang out.
Someone once said that I really don't know how lucky I am. I guess they are right. All this time, I just assume that people don't like me, so instead of getting hurt by them and finding out the truth, I distance myself from them when really, they do care and they do really like me.
I really havnt had a good life but there has been good parts, good friends, people that care about me. I just choose to see the bad parts bacause that is what I'm used to.
It's MY fault that I lose so many people that love me. I am the one who doesn't call them, see them.
Well, that is going to change. If someone can still care enough about me after not talking to her anymore and not going to her wedding to actually want to hang out with me still....well, then all those thoughts in my head that say they don't like me for me...they are just stupid thoughts.
yea...I dunno. It was just a huge awakening to see her again after soooo many years. I don't know if we will actually be close friends again, but I'm not going to push people away anymore...it's pointless and destructive and I'm tired of being so destructive. If they don't want me to care about them..or if they don't like me...then fine, the end. But I want to know for sure..I don't want to believe in my own lies I tell myself anymore.
wow..long...sorry for anyone reading this...but. Dunno. Just some stuff I was thinking about.
Lalalalala.....ok...I have to go clean now...^_^ |
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| Yay... |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|06:15 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Skinny Puppy | ] |
K...I just uploaded more pictures...here:http://photobucket.com/albums/c203/Moriko_/
Including a picture of the Dir en grey shirt I made a while back if anyone is interested...wooo...plus some pictures I took when I was in Galveston this summer.
To give you some explanation on the Galveston pictures...When we were there my brother showed me this SUPER COOL abandoned sea world type thingy. It was illegal for us to be there, but it was sooooo cool, and an underground fort thingy that we had to sneek into also..so...yea.
Ohh...roday was weird, 'cause for no reason all of a sudden, the power just went out. It stayed out for 3 hours. I WAS SOOO BORED!!!
But now it's ok. So...yea...and I'm happy 'cause I found one of my Skinny Puppy CD's that I havn't heard in a long time and I'm hooked on it again. Oh well....
Ya...that's all! |
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| Piccies!! |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|11:02 am] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| |  hungry | ] |
Ok...So, if anyone want to see my pictures...I have them all up and it took FOREVER!!! So...you must go here:http://photobucket.com/albums/c203/Moriko_/
Yes....I take bad pictures so they suck and I usually only take pictures after I changed my hair or somtin'....soo...yea.
Laaa...ok..gots to go eat now...is hungy'. |
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| Videos |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|09:01 pm] |
| [ | What's wrong? |
| | it's almost present time!! | ] |
| [ | This insanity~ |
| | Rasputina~Yellow Fever | ] |
Boo...
I was just looking through all the videos I have saved on YouTube and thought that if anyone wanted to see them (I didn't make them, but they are in my favorites) then clicky clicky:http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=moriko
Ya...Mainly Dir en grey, but has lots of other stuff too................I have like almost 200 saved there..so...blah.
Just thought I'd share my wealth a bit. And if ya wanna add me as a friend on there, feel free to do so!
Ohhh...I love my brother now lots! He is buying me stuff for christmas! And I was soooo mean to him when he was little, but what are big sisters for?
But ya...he is getting me a really cool jacket and jewelry...wooo ^_^
My side hurts from getting so sick the other night..I just sneezed and it felt like i was going to blow up it hurt so bad....booo
dodododdoooo...what else.....nada...guess that's all....hmmm...yea. That's all for now.
Buh~Bye |
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